Altered Preliminaries
by Chengar Qordath
Summary: Two-shot. A twist of fate leaves Naruto facing a different opponent in the preliminary round Chunin Exams, with results that he never could have anticipated.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'd be making ridiculous amounts of money rather than tossing up fanfics on the internet.

* * *

"C'mon, C'mon!" Naruto chanted at the board as it cycled through yet another set of random names. "Pick me already! I wanna fight now!" Sasuke had been lucky enough to be in the very first fight, and hadn't even stuck around to watch his teammates' fight their battles. Four battles later (Shikamaru against the kunoichi from Hidden Sound, the weird Sand guy in makeup against a really bendy Leaf ninja, the Sand girl with a fan against one of Bushy-Brow's teammates, and Hinata against the other guy on Lee's team, who was apparently her cousin or something and whose ass Naruto had already decided to righteously kick in the next round) Naruto still hadn't gotten a chance to fight.

He wasn't too picky about who he got to fight, if he had to pick it would be nice to go up against one of the people who seemed so interested in Sasuke. Who wouldn't like a chance to beat one of those stuck-up pricks who'd totally ignored him but seemed so interested in the broody bastard? Maybe that would be the way to make everyone finally notice just how awesome he was.

_Yeah, that's what I'll do. Which one then? Bushy-Brows? Nah, he's weird and freaky looking, but I guess he really ain't so bad since he helped Sakura-chan while I was knocked out, plus he's scary-fast. I guess I could fight that Sand guy with the gourd, but … he seems kinda scary too. Maybe the Sound guy with the blasty things in his arms then? He did attack my team while I was knocked out and he hurt Sakura-chan. Yeah, that's who I wanna fight, I'll kick his ass for that!_

"Hey, Sakura-chan." Naruto called out to his remaining teammate.

"Guys…" Kakashi tried to cut in before Naruto could start a conversation.

"What, Naruto?" Sakura answered a bit harshly, suspecting that he was about to say something, annoying, rude, perverted, or all of the above, and thus require her to clobber him once more in her continuing effort to pound a little sense into his remarkably thick skull.

"I think I'm gonna be next, and I know who I wanna fight and I'll kick his ass and it'll be so awesome!" The hyperactive blond was bouncing up and down on his feet by the end of his statement "You got any idea who you wanna fight?"

"Guys..." Kakashi tried to get their attention once more.

Sakura paused for a moment to consider Naruto's questions, and then shrugged. "I don't want to fight Lee, and the Sand and Sound ninjas are dangerous, but aside from that I suppose anyone I can beat is alright."

"I thought you'd wanna fight Ino." Naruto asked. "Aren't you rivals with her?"

"You really shouldn't ignore your sensei like this." Kakashi grumbled.

"Yes, but her team helped us with the Sound ninjas in the forest." Sakura temporized. "Ino is my rival, and I won't lose to her, but…"

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto nodded in an eager attempt to show that he understood the girl's conflicted feelings. "I don't really wanna fight Bushy-Brows any more either, even if he didn't acknowledge me when we first met. So who do you wanna fight then?"

Tired of having his students ignore his repeated attempts to interrupt their conversation, Kakashi thumped both genins on the backs of their heads and chided them. "You guys really should pay more attention to what's going on around you instead of getting caught up in conversations."

"Eh?" Naruto eloquently inquired, confusion clear on his face.

"Sakura's opponent has already been decided." Kakashi declared, pointing past the two of them at the board, which was already displaying the next match.

**Sakura Haruno vs. Naruto Uzumaki**

"WHAT?!" The teammates cried simultaneously, their jaws dropping in shock at the unexpected match-up.

Naruto was the first to recover from his surprise, and quickly made his dissatisfaction with the computer's choice for his opponent known. "HEY! HEY!" Naruto cried down at the sickly proctor. "We can't fight each other; we're on the same team!"

"Teams no longer matter at this stage in the Chunin Exams." Hayate answered calmly. "It's an individual competition now."

"But … but I don't wanna fight Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted, pointing at the girl in question to emphasize his point.

"Then forfeit." Hayate answered with a bored shrug.

"Eh…" Naruto grumbled, folding his arms across his chest and pondering the situation. _I said I was gonna win the Chunin exams and I don't give up or go back on my word. _Naruto's gaze shifted from the proctor to the pink-haired girl. _But … Sakura-chan._ The fights so far had all been brutal; most of the fights had ended with the loser beaten into bloody unconsciousness. _I can't do that to Sakura-chan. I wanna be a Chunin, but not that bad…_

His decision made, Naruto set to announcing it. "Hey! I wanna for- OW!" Rubbing his now slightly battered head Naruto turned to face his teammate. "What the hell was that for Sakura-chan?"

"Stop wasting time you idiot!" Sakura snapped. "Let's just get to the fight already."

"But we're not gonna fight!" Naruto shouted back. "I was just about to for-" Sakura's fist to the back of his head cut off the rest of his objection.

"Hey, no fighting until I announce the start of the match." Hayate called out, almost managing to inject some energy into his voice.

"Naruto, shut up and fight me already!" The pink haired girl snarled at her teammate. "Even you can't be so stupid that you can't figure out how to do a simple tournament battle."

"But … but Sakura-chan…" Naruto struggled to find a way to explain himself without somehow provoking the volatile girl into hitting him yet again.

"Don't call me that." The girl practically growled, her fists clenched at her sides.

"Eh?"

"Don't call me Sakura-chan any more, you moron." The girl snapped, storming off the catwalk and down into the arena.

"But … but…" Naruto frowned at the girl's back, mystified by her behavior. Most of the time she started hitting and/or yelling at him he had a fairly good idea as to why, and no matter how annoyed she'd gotten with him she had never denied him the right to use the –chan honorific he normally attached to her name in the past. Turning to his team leader with confusion and distress obvious on his face, the genin asked. "Kakashi-sensei … what the hell did I do? She's really mad at me…"

Kakashi considered the blond's question for a moment, then advised him. "You might want to take care of the fight before worrying about that. Making her wait isn't going to make her any happier." _I've got a theory, but even if I'm right it would take far too long to explain while everyone's waiting for the fight, especially when Naruto is the one I have to explain things to._

"Alright." Naruto said uncertainly, turning about to slowly take his position on the battleground as he pondered his dilemma. _What the hell am I supposed to do? Sakura-chan wouldn't let me drop out of the fight, and now she's really pissed at me too! I guess I'll have to fight her, but even if she's being all mean and crazy now I still don't wanna hurt her … I'll just act like she knocked me out as soon as she gets a decent hit in. I just hope she stops being mad at me once she wins the fight._

Once the reluctant and unusually subdued Naruto was in place across from an angry-looking Sakura Hayate proceeded with the normal preliminaries to the battle. "Are you both finally ready?"

"Yes." Sakura answered confidently, her voice tight with anger.

"I guess." Naruto responded with a distinct lack of enthusiasm.

"About time." Hayate muttered under his breath before suffering another coughing fit. Once the proctor's cough was under control he managed to raise his voice slightly in order to announce. "Round six: Sakura Haruno versus Naruto Uzumaki. Begin!"

The match began with the two combatants doing … absolutely nothing. After several seconds of inaction, Sakura spoke up. "Not going to charge in screaming like a headless chicken?" The girl asked with a rather cruel smirk. "Maybe you've finally realized how stupid that makes you look."

"What's the deal?" Naruto asked, still confused by his teammates behavior. Sakura calling him stupid wasn't anything new, but there was a tone to the word that he'd never heard before. Normally whenever the insults started flying Sakura sounded angry and frustrated, but this time there was a cold, calculated cruelty to her words, as if she were deliberately trying to hurt him. "I've never seen you act like this before Sakura-chan."

"I told you not to call me that!" The kunoichi snarled, charging towards him with a cocked fist. Naruto still had no idea what was going on with her, but since she was getting ready to clobber him he decided to just take the punch, play dead for a bit, and get this crazy fight behind him. _Maybe once she hits me again Sakura-chan will finally go back to normal; usually she stops being mad after a punch and a bit of yelling._

Naruto braced for the punch and, right as it landed, fell back and pushed against the ground with his legs, making it look as though the blow had sent him flying. There had already been a fair bit of power behind Sakura's blow, but there was no harm in making it look even more effective by adding in some flight time; he was trying to pass it off as a one-hit knockout after all. Once Naruto's body reunited with the floor of the arena he closed his eyes and went limp, doing his best to pass himself off as beaten.

When he didn't get up after several seconds Hayate grumbled something about getting the match started taking five times as long as the fight itself, then announced, "Winner, Sa-"

"NO!" Sakura shouted the proctor down.

"Eh? What's the deal Sakura-san?" Naruto asked, forgetting that he was supposed to be unconscious, yet somehow retaining the presence of mind to remember not to use his customary honorific for the kunoichi.

"I knew you were faking." Sakura declared smugly. "Compared to the hits you took fighting Orochimaru a couple days ago without even slowing down one punch from me is nothing; I would have to be an even bigger moron than you are to think I'd taken you out that easily. Now get up and fight you idiot!"

_Damn … how the hell am I supposed to throw the match now? If she's expecting me to make it look like a I lost then there's no way it'll look believable unless she really beats the crap out of me. Plus, I have to at least make it look like I'm fighting back or else she'll know and get even angrier. Oh man … I'm in so much trouble right now! Gotta think of something…_

"Still don't have the guts to fight me?" Sakura scoffed. "I still don't understand how a pathetic waste of oxygen like you managed to practically take out an entire genin by himself to get our heaven scroll." The pink-haired kunoichi gave a disinterest shrug, then drew out two handfuls of shuriken and dropped back into a fighting stance. "If you can't attack, I will!"

Sakura charged forward and unleashed her weapons, sending eight razor-sharp stars at her teammate before arming herself with a kunai. Naruto dodged and blocked the worst the barrage, but allowed several of the weapons to score several minor wounds on his arms and legs. Naruto met Sakura's kunai with his own, and blocked the kunoichi's follow-up punch with his face.

Several quick close combat exchanges with Sakura went exactly the way Naruto had hoped they would, which is to say that he'd taken a reasonable beating without it being to obvious that he wasn't doing his best. Sakura's taijutsu was good enough that Naruto had an easy time making sure that several of his blocks and dodges were just a little too slow, and he took several more solid hits.

However, while Naruto could do a reasonable job of failing to defend himself, if he was going to make his defeat seem believable he would have to make at least a few efforts to attack. Of course, doing that meant hitting Sakura, something that he wasn't prepared to do even if she was being pretty mean to him. Naruto desperately glanced about the arena, looking for anything that might give him a moment of inspiration when his eyes met the one-eyed gaze of Kakashi-sensei and his mind flashed back to the bell test.

_Hehe … yeah, that'll work._ When Sakura sent a roundhouse kick flying at his face Naruto crouched under the attack and quickly sidestepped as the momentum of Sakura's missed attack caused the rest of her body to continue rotating. When she had stopped moving Naruto was in position almost perfectly behind her, with his hands formed into what a casual observer might mistake for the tiger seal.

"Hidden Leaf Secret Ultimate Taijutsu Technique." Naruto announced before thrusting his fingers up and forward. "A Thousand Years of Death!" The extremely powerful ass poke sent Sakura flying a fair distance, screaming in indignant fury the entire time. _She sounds pissed … but then she was already pissed at me anyway, and this way I managed to look like I'm fighting back and cop a feel on Sakura's butt. Sometimes I really am just too awesome._

"NARUTO!" Sakura's enraged scream ripped across the arena, and it was almost a relief to see the more familiar blind rage replace the cold cruelty she had been displaying for most of the match. For the next minute or so Naruto didn't have to put any effort into weakening his defenses, it was taking everything he could manage just to keep enraged kunoichi at bay. However, the girl's moves gradually began to slow as her rage played itself out and exhaustion began catching up with her; she simply couldn't keep up her current mad pace of attack for long.

The next exchange began with Sakura engaging his kunai with her own, and then stepping close inside his guard to throw a fist at his face. Unfortunately, the tired kunoichi was still to angry to pay as much attention to lining up her attacks as she should and too drained to quickly notice and correct any problems in with her positioning. Instead of slamming into his face her fist shot right past Naruto, barely brushing his left ear on its journey into empty space, and leaving a gaping hole in Sakura's defenses.

Naruto knew that ignoring such an obvious opening would give away his game, and not eager to court death by using that technique againg he reluctantly threw a half-hearted punch at his teammate. He wasn't even trying to connect and expected Sakura to easily dodge out of the way or block the attack, but instead the tired girl stumbled and managed to dodge right into his fist's path; he was barely able to pull the blow short before it would have made contact.

Sakura froze with Naruto's fist an inch away from her face, and after a few moments of silence a smirk made its way onto her face. "I knew you were still holding back, I've seen you fight enough times to know you're better than this. What is this, some sort of pathetic attempt to impress me by throwing the fight? You really are a disgraceful excuse of a ninja."

"Sakura-san…" Naruto began, struggling to find the right words. _What the hell is going on with Sakura-chan? I've never seen her being this mean before…_

"_Sakura, there is something I want to ask you. What do you think of Naruto?" Naruto, temporarily transformed to look like Sasuke, asked._

"_Naruto always gets my way, and he enjoys seeing me struggle and make mistakes. Naruto doesn't understand anything about me, he's just annoying._

_Well that was different. _Naruto insisted to himself in the face the less than pleasant memories. _After all, she didn't know me then, and now she's had a chance to change her mind so she doesn't hate me any more … right?_

"No wonder you were the dead last in our class." Sakura continued with her barrage of insults. "Really, do you have any ninja skills at all beyond being annoying? Do you even know how to spell the word ninja, idiot? How did you manage to graduate anyway? I bet the instructors at the academy just got tired of seeing your stupid, ugly face and listening to your annoying voice."

"What 's your problem Billboard Brow?" Ino suddenly called out. "You're being more of a bitch than usual! Kick her ass already Naruto!"

"Sakura, why have you suddenly become so unyouthful?" Lee added, obviously as confused and bothered by her unusual behavior as Naruto was.

Sakura briefly glanced up at the spectators, taking note of the number of hostile glares she was receiving from the audience. Even if most of his classmates would agree that Naruto could be an annoying pain in the ass, Sakura was taking things a little too far, and it was hard to ignore Naruto's obvious distress at the girl's words.

"Looks like you've picked up a couple fans, loser." Sakura scoffed, backing away from a slightly stunned Naruto; sure, Bushy-Brows was kinda nuts and Ino was probably against Sakura more than for him, but he still hadn't expected anyone to cheer for him during his match. "Don't get used to it; after all, nobody's ever acknowledged you or been your friend, why should it change now? Once they take a bit a of time to think about it they'll go back to ignoring you and treating you like, crap just like everyone else.

"I mean, look at you. You failed the graduation exam three times, and only got out of the academy because Iruka did you a favor since he felt sorry for you. The only reason you got past Kakashi-sensei's bell test was because Sasuke and I took mercy on you, and I've lost count of how many times we had to save your ass on D-rank missions." Sakura shook her head in aggravation, then scoffed and asked, "What kind of idiot ninja nearly gets himself killed just walking a dog?

"You're just pathetic and annoying, nobody likes you, nobody will ever like you, and that whole dream of becoming Hokage … you don't stand a chance. Dead last, stupid, friendless, worthless, cowardly losers like you don't get to become Hokage. Just give up and get used to the fact that nobody will ever acknowledge you."

"Sakura-san" Naruto was trembling from the impact of her words. "What's the deal? What did I do that has you so mad at me? I mean, it's not like you yelling at me or smacking me for being an idiot is anything new but this … I've never seen you act like this before. What happened? Back in the Forest of Death we were acting like teammates, comrades, I was even starting to think maybe we were becoming friends. But now … what the hell has gotten into you Sakura? Snap out of it already!"

"I know what your secret is Naruto." Sakura hissed under her breath, too quietly for anyone else to hear. "Did you really think I wouldn't figure out why so many people in the village hate you for no clear reason? Why everyone's parents tell their kids that they shouldn't be friends with you? It wasn't that hard to figure out. No wonder you try to keep it quiet, if everyone knew they'd hate you as much as I do."

Something inside Naruto snapped with those words; he had long since developed a thick skin when it came to Sakura and her tendency to insult him, but the Nine-tailed Fox and his fears of rejection because of it was probably one of the few areas where a few cruel words could cut the boy to the core. Within half a second of the last word leaving her mouth Naruto was charging; Sakura barely had time to even drop back into a fighting stance before his fist was rushing to meet her head, and this time he didn't pull the punch. The force of the blow knocked the kunoichi off her feet and to the ground, and as the surprised girl lifted a hand to her face she felt a rapidly growing bruise and a bit of blood from a split lip.

Naruto's fist slowly dropped down from to his side, and the blond boy's entire body was trembling with barely controlled anger. "Sakura, I've always liked you, but …" Naruto grimaced and shook his head. "Sometimes Sakura … you can be a real bitch."

"Heh." Sakura scoffed, picking herself up off the ground and wiping away the blood on her lip. "Looks like you're finally ready to fight me seriously; that almost hurt Naruto." Her hands went into a familiar hand sign. "Here's something I know you can't do, loser." A basic clone shimmered into being on each side of Sakura.

"Who needs the crappy clones they teach us to make at the Academy? I've got something ten times better!" Naruto cried out before producing a dozen shadow clones. "Now to show you my newest move, even you won't see this one coming!"

The clones charged forward and launched a series of kicks into Sakura and her two illusionary doubles. Eight of the shadow clones wasted their attacks on the illusionary Sakuras, but the remaining ones hit her with a series of four kicks that propelled the kunoichi into the air, setting her up perfectly for an axe kick that hammered into her right arm and chest to the sound of breaking bones.

Sakura slammed into the ground with a cry of pain, landing heavily on her injured side. Naruto closed in on his fallen enemy and was about to deliver a punch to her face when he realized that she had already lapsed into unconsciousness.

"Winner, Naruto Uzumaki." Hayate announced to deafening silence.

Naruto made his way back up to the upper level in a stony silence that was so unlike his usual good cheer it made everyone who knew him uncomfortable. Bushy Brows tried to cheer him up with some weird talk about not letting the fires of his youth be quenched in the face of adversity and Ino said that Billboard Brow had deserved the beating for being such a bitch, but Naruto really just wasn't in the mood to listen. He did at least try to cheer Lee on when the taijutsu specialist went up against the Sound Ninja with the odd weapon on his arm and delivered a righteous beating, but his enthusiasm dampened when he remembered that the main reason he wanted to see the Sound Ninjas beaten was that they hurt Sakura.

_Seems kind of stupid now that I've beaten her up twice as bad as they did. She was being really mean and all but still … she's Sakura-chan. Fighting her like that, hurting her … it just doesn't feel right._

"Naruto." Kakashi finally broke the silence that had surrounded the brooding genin. "The Hokage needs to talk to everyone who made it to the final round." The eccentric Jonin paused for a moment, and then added. "I need to go by the hospital and check on Sasuke, meet me there tomorrow morning to discuss your training."

"Eh? Oh, alright Kakashi-sensei." Naruto answered, making his way down to the arena floor to find out about the upcoming final round of the genin exam, which turned out to be a tournament. He would normally have been happy about the fact that his first match would give him a chance to beat up Hinata's asshole cousin, but under the circumstances it was a bit difficult for him to get to excited about anything.

"You." A quiet voice called out behind him. Turning around, Naruto found himself facing Gaara of the Desert. "Is it true? What that girl, the one you fought, said? You survived a fight against Orochimaru?"

"Huh?" Naruto was taken aback by the question and the Sand ninja's sudden interest. He still didn't know what the deal was with that guy; as soon as Kiba had drawn him as an opponent the normally confident boy had forfeited his match. "Oh yeah, the wierdo snake guy. Yeah, I fought him." _I kinda got my ass kicked, but I fought him; at least I didn't chicken out like Sasuke did._

"Perhaps you are interesting after all." Gaara mused. "Defeat the Hyuuga, Naruto Uzumaki … I think I will enjoy killing you more than I would him." Not even waiting for a response, Gaara turned around and made his way out of the arena.

"Scary." Naruto muttered under his breath, trying not to show that he was kinda freaked out by the apparently psycho Sand ninja. _Maybe Kiba could tell he's a psycho and that's why he gave up instead of fighting him. Seriously, who the hell goes around telling people how much fun they'll be to kill?_ With a shrug, the boy did his best to dismiss his fears over the unusual Sand ninja. _Eh, even if he is a psycho I'll kick his eyebrowless ass if Sasuke loses to him, and if Sasuke wins then I'll kick his ass instead!_

* * *

By the time the preliminaries had finished and the chunin candidates had made their way out of the Forest of Death night had fallen almost. Several days of sleeping on hard ground and tough fights had left Naruto eager to seek out his bed, though he stopped off at Ichiraku Ramen for a quick dozen bowls of his favorite food first. Ayame and Teuchi seemed to notice that the normally cheerful and energetic blond was in a low mood, but their efforts to cheer him did little, especially since their initial guess at the cause of his depression had been that he had failed the second stage of the chunin exam. After gorging himself on less Ramen than usual, Naruto made his way back to his apartment and flopped down onto his bed.

The next morning, Naruto dragged himself out of bed and, after a quick shower and some breakfast-Ramen Naruto made his way to the hospital for his meeting with Kakashi to discuss training for the final round. A good night's sleep had managed to do a fair bit for dispelling his funk from the previous day as long as he kept his mind off everything remotely Sakura-related. Luckily, Naruto had a fair bit of practice with finding a way to be his normal hyperactive energetic self when things were going badly and he might otherwise be a little depressed. _Hehe … while I'm at the hospital I think I'll go bug Sasuke for a bit. After all, I want to make sure he's healed up in time for me to kick his ass in the finals; no way he'd lose to that Gaara._

Upon arriving at the hospital Naruto tried to find out where Sasuke's room was, but couldn't get any straight answers out of the people at the front desk before Kakashi showed up and made that moot point. "Oh, there you are Naruto."

"Hey Kakashi-sensei, what sort of awesome jutsus are you going to be teaching me?" Naruto asked eagerly.

"Oh, well actually I'm going to be busy training Sasuke." The Jonin explained. "Don't worry though, I've arranged for someone else to train you; he's really probably a better teacher than me anyway."

"Eh? Who is it?" _I really wanted Kakashi-sensei to train me, but if he's gotten me someone even better than him I guess that's alright too._

"Oh, well follow me and I'll take you to him." Kakashi offered. "He said he had a really powerful jutsu to teach you."

"Oh? Awesome!" Naruto was still a little steamed about not getting trained by Kakashi himself, but the prospect of a new teacher with awesome jutsu was enough to get him interested. "Lead the way, Kakashi-sensei!"

"You really shouldn't shout so much, this is a hospital." Kakashi declared mildly, walking down the hallway with the hyperactive genin in tow. After walking past several doors and barely managing to keep Naruto from being distracted when they passed by Hinata's room the pair arrived at their destination. "Right in there." Kakashi said, pointing out the door they'd stopped in front of.

"Eh? Why's this new sensei meeting me in a hospital room?" Naruto asked.

"Well, we were already at the hospital anyway, so why not?" Kakashi answered. With a shrug, the Jonin added, "He did say the jutsu he was going to teach you was better than any of the ones Sasuke knows."

"Yeah, I'm totally gonna kick Sasuke's ass now!" Naruto declared, barely restraining the urge to shout. Without a second thought, the blond rushed into the room Kakashi indicated.

As soon as he was inside Kakashi pulled the door shut and pulled a chair over to block it shut before sitting down and pulling out his dog-eared copy of Makeout Paradise. _Naruto really is too easy to manipulate._

"Huh?" Naruto exclaimed as the door suddenly slammed shut behind him. "What's the big idea Kakashi-sensei?"

"Just a teamwork exercise Naruto." The jonin-sensei answered. "I'll let you out and take you to meet your real teacher once it's done."

"Naruto, is that you?" An all too familiar voice called out from within the room.

"Yeah." Naruto reluctantly answered, moving further into the room so he could properly see the patient. "It's me Sakura-san."

The pink-haired girl looked distinctly worse for the wear; Naruto's collection of minor injuries from the fight had already healed thank to the Fox, while Sakura's skin sported several faded but still noticeable bruises. Her right arm was resting in a sling, though from what Naruto could tell the hospitals medical ninjas had already set and healed the broken bones.

"I heard you talking to Kakashi-sensei; is he here too?" Sakura asked.

"Kinda; he told me I was meeting new sensei to make me follow him, then locked me in here with you instead." Naruto answered.

"Yup." Kakashi answered cheerfully through the door. "Once Sakura finishes saying what she needs to say I'll open the door ... well, unless my book's getting to one of the really good parts."

"Oh." Sakura said softly. "So you figured it out Kakashi-sensei?"

"I have a couple theories." Kakashi answered cryptically. "It did occur to me that … oh wait, I like this part." Any further contribution to the discussion from the pair's sensei was cut off, and after a few moments the two could dimly hear the one-eyed man's giggles coming from the other side of the door.

"Eh … right." Naruto filled what might otherwise have developed into an awkward silence. "So anyway Sakura-san, I just guess I oughta say…"

"Naruto." Sakura cut the blond off, "What I have to say should come first."

"Eh?" Naruto grunted in confusion. "But I just wanted to say I was sorry for … well ... you know…" He waved a hand vaguely in Sakura's direction, indicating her bruised face and broken arm. _She said some really mean stuff, but I hurt her pretty bad._

"Naruto, about everything that happened yesterday, there's something I need to …" Sakura began before her teammate cut her off.

"You don't wanna be on my team any more right?" The blond asked in resignation. "Don't worry, I'll see if I can get on someone else's team, I don't want to cause trouble for you and Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei."

"Naruto." Sakura declared a little more insistently, but by this point the hyperactive genin's mouth was in full overdrive.

"After all, even if said some nasty stuff to me I shouldn't have hit you, especially not bad enough to put you in the hospital. There's no way I'm ever gonna become the next Hokage if I beat up my friends every time they get a little mad at me." Naruto paused for a moment in thought, then added. "By the way, I don't know what I did that got you so mad at me before the fight got started, but I just wanna say that whatever it was I'm really, really so…"

"Dammit Naruto will you shut up already!" Sakura snapped, briefly wishing that her knuckleheaded teammate was within punching range. It never ceased to amaze her how the boy could somehow manage to drive her to verge of homicidal anger just by being himself.

"Oh … I did it again, didn't I?" Naruto asked, looking even more downtrodden than before. "Sorry Sakura-san."

Sakura sighed, took a few deep breaths to dispel her anger, and then began to speak. "Naruto, please don't interrupt me any more until I've finished speaking. I'm not mad at you, and I don't want you off of our team."

"Huh?" Naruto asked, utterly mystified by the girl's words. "But, but yesterday you said that…"

"I said a lot of things yesterday." Sakura interrupted. "I didn't mean them."

"What?" Naruto asked, frowning in thought. "Well if you didn't really mean all that stuff you said then why'd you say it?" The boy frowned and dropped his gaze to the floor. "I mean … some of that stuff was pretty nasty."

"I know, and I'm sorry." After taking a moment to find the best way to explain things to her teammate, Sakura continued. "I couldn't think of any other way to make you fight me."

"But … why'd you wanna fight me?" Naruto asked. "I mean, I was just gonna drop out of the fight, and that way you could've gone straight to the finals without any trouble."

Sakura's lips tightened into a thin line. "When I go to the final round of the Chunin Exam I want it to be because I earned the right to be there, not because one of my teammates dropped out because he didn't want to fight me." Sakura hesitated and her cheeks pinked slightly, before she mumbled something indistinct

"Eh? What was that Sakura-san?"

"I said I also wanted people to see you'd gotten stronger." The girl snapped, covering her embarrassment with anger. "You're still a stupid hyperactive knucklehead, but you're not the dead last any more; without you on our team Sasuke and I would never have made it through the Forest of Death."

Naruto blinked a couple times as his mind processed the girl's words, then he asked. "You really think I'm strong?"

"Yes Naruto." The girl said with a sigh. "I think you're strong."

"So … does that mean you're happy that I'm on your team?"

"I guess." Sakura admitted grudgingly.

"So … does this mean you'll finally go out on a date with me?"

"Naruto..." The girl growled warningly.

The boy let out a nervous chuckle and rubbed the back of his head. "Worth a shot."

"If I wasn't too sore to get out of bed and into punching range I'd give you a shot." The girl growled darkly. _This reminds me… _Sakura quickly put a fake smile on her face and said in her friendliest voice_._ "Naruto, could you come over here for a minute?"

"Eh? Sure thing!" Naruto trotted over to her bedside. "What now?"

"Oh, I just need to give you something." She said, still smiling as her fist slammed into his arm twice in quick succession. "That was using the Thousand Years of Death on me, and for calling me a bitch."

" Sakuraaa-chaaaan." Naruto whined, rubbing his much-abused arm. "Even you said you were being pretty mean to me…" Naruto defended his actions.

"Just because I was being a bitch doesn't mean you're allowed to call me one, and besides, I punched you with my off hand." Sakura justified. "In the arm. And only twice. And I didn't even punch you that hard."

"Yeah, but you still punched me." Naruto pouted. "I thought you were gonna stop being so mean to me now Sakura-chan, but instead you're being just as mean as ever." After a short pause the boy grimaced, and clarified. "Eh … I meant Sakura-san, not –chan, sorry."

"It's fine Naruto." Sakura told her teammate.

"Eh, you mean you want me to go back to calling you Sakura-chan?" The boy asked, sounding incredibly eager and hopeful.

Sakura sighed in resignation; when Naruto had started using the overly familiar –chan honorific it had annoyed her to no end, but by now she'd gotten used to it and she knew letting him go back to using it would help return things back to normal between the two of them. However, she could already see that he was going to make a bigger deal out of this than she wanted it to be. "Yes Naruto."

She couldn't help but be a little amused when the boy's gave a ridiculously wide grin and a victorious chuckle, even if she had a bad feeling that Naruto would soon be bragging to everyone who would listen that she'd asked him to go back to calling her Sakura-chan. The near certainty of future annoyance had a hard time competing with the reality of his present elation at the news.

Once the boy calmed down Sakura asked him how the rest of the matches had gone, and for the next fifteen minutes Naruto provided a rather vivid and energetic description of the battles Sakura had missed. Once his account of the rest of the preliminaries finally drew to a close the two fell into a brief silence before Naruto finally remembered that there was still one other thing he was curious about. "By the way Sakura-chan, how'd you find out about the Fox anyway?"

"The what?" Sakura asked, confused by the boy's question.

"You know, my big secret." Naruto clarified. "That I've got the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside of me."

"YOU HAVE THE NINE TAILED FOX SEALED INSIDE OF YOU!?" Sakura shrieked.

"That's kind of supposed to be a secret." Kakashi called out through the closed door. "So … maybe screaming it at the top of your lungs in the middle of a semi-public place like a hospital isn't the best idea."

Sakura flushed slightly at her sensei's criticism, while Naruto was staring at the girl in confusion. "But … but you said … I thought you already knew."

"I was bluffing." Sakura explained, badly shaken by the revelation. "I thought it was just some sort of old family shame or a weird and nasty Kekkei Genkai or something, not that you had the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside of you! I thought the Fourth Hokage killed it!"

"No, he couldn't kill it, so instead he sealed it inside me."

"Oh." An awkward silence descended on the pair, which was eventually broken when Sakura hesitantly asked, "So … what's it like having the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside of you?"

Naruto shrugged. "I never even knew it was there until someone told me about it."

"Really?" Sakura asked. _You'd think having the fox inside his body would have some sort of noticeable effects._ Considering the matter for a moment, Sakura suddenly began barraging the boy with questions. "So is that why you've got those weird marks on your face? Does the fox give you your massive chakra reserves? Is that why your canine's are larger than normal? What about how fast you heal? Was that weird chakra you had when you fought Orochimaru related to the Fox? Was that thing he did to knock you out some sort of jutsu to stop you from using the Fox's power?"

"Eh … maybe." Naruto answered with a bemused shrug. He was pretty sure the chakra came from the fox and the rest of it would make sense as well, but he didn't really know any of that for sure; he'd never really gotten around to having someone explain what having the Nine Tailed Fox sealed inside of him would do to his body. "Eh … why are you asking so many questions about it anyway?"

Sakura glanced at him as though he'd said something particularly dim-witted. "We're on the same team; I need to know about what kind of effect the fox is going to have on you." She flushed slightly and added with a slightly abashed grin. "And … maybe I'm a little curious about it."

"Oh." Naruto said, sounding a little surprised. "Kinda thought you'd be … well … that you wouldn't like me any more once you found out."

"Why would you think that?" Sakura asked, sounding genuinely confused by the boy's statement. _I can understand that people who don't really know him might be nervous about the Nine Tailed Fox, but really, Naruto's harmless. Look at how far I had to push just to make him fight back in the middle of a tournament!_

_Hehe … she doesn't care about the stupid Fox, and she didn't deny that she likes me! I thought this day was gonna suck, but now it just keeps getting better and better!_ Already formulating a new devious plot, Naruto asked, "So Sakura-chan, is hospital food really as crappy as everyone says it is?"

After taking a moment to adjust to the sudden swerve in conversation topic, Sakura grimaced and said, "It's not terrible, but it's not really good either, it's just … edible."

"Hehe … want me to sneak in some ramen for you?" Naruto asked with one of his ridiculously wide grins.

"Thanks, but I'm not really in the mood for ramen." Sakura responded.

"How can anyone not be in the mood for ramen?" Naruto asked with a shrug. "Well, if you don't want ramen what do you want?"

"Hmm … well maybe..." Before long the two genin had fallen into a conversation about the relative merits of various foods, a conversation that was soon interrupted by a loud growl emanating from Naruto's stomach. Just as she was about to giggle at the boy's body betraying his hunger, Sakura's own stomach let out a rumble that was only slightly quieter than Naruto's.

"Naruto." Sakura growled in a distinctly displeased voice. "All your talk about food made me hungry, and it'll be hours before the next meal, and that's just going to be more hospital food." Sakura glared at the blond, who had the good sense to look properly abashed.

"Sorry Sakura-chan."

"You better be." She grumbled.

"I'll make it up to you." Naruto promised, looking appropriately repentant.

"Damn right you will." Sakura snapped.

"I'll buy you a really nice dinner sometime at a good restaurant, promise."

"I'll hold you to that." Sakura threatened. "If you think you get away with just a cheap bowl of ramen I swear…" Sakura's stomach growled once more. "And it better be soon!" The girl added for good measure.

"I'll do it as soon as you get as you get out of the hospital." Naruto reassured her.

"Good." Sakura declared, satisfied that Naruto had arranged an appropriate penance for making her hungry when there were no prospects of a good meal in the near future.

"Alright, it's a date!" Naruto said, seeming ridiculously pleased with himself.

"A daa … bu … wha…?" Sakura gasped. Quickly replaying the last minute of conversation within her mind, she realized with dawning horror that she had not only agreed to a date, but had practically demanded one.

"Later Sakura-chan." Naruto chirped, deciding to make his escape while the girl was still in shock. After a quick knock on the door and a few muttered words to Kakashi the door opened, and a with a final wave goodbye Naruto beat a hasty retreat.

Sakura remained alone in her room, staring dully out the window as she contemplated one of the most horrifying questions she'd faced in her short life. "Did I just get outsmarted by Naruto?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own Naruto; that's why I'm writing a fanfic instead of sleeping on top of a pile of money with many beautiful, naked women.

**Author's Note:** Well, after pretty much every single review I got asked for a follow-up that covered Naruto and Sakura's date, I got a bit of inspiration on what to do with them and before I knew I'd cranked out another chapter.

* * *

_Alright, so Naruto tricked me into agreeing to go on a date with him. _After spending an appropriate amount of time being moderately horrified by this fact, Sakura had finally calmed down enough to consider the matter rationally. _Well, there's no reason I have to go along with it; the next time I see him I can just it doesn't count if he tricked me into going out with him, and that'll be the end of it._

_**Or you could just go on the date; maybe it'll be fun!**_ A rather treacherous voice in the back of her mind suggested.

With a grimace, Sakura shook her head. No_, I can't be that blunt with him; he might have forgiven me for everything I had to do to make him fight back in the preliminaries, but just flat out refusing to go out with him after I said yes to a date could ruin things all over again. Maybe I can find some way to give Naruto a couple subtle hints that I'd really rather not go out with him and he'll just drop it._

It didn't take Sakura long to see the flaws with that plan. _Naruto and subtle just don't go together. I don't think there's much room to warn him off in a way that's subtle enough to not hurt his feelings but direct enough effectively communicate._

Sakura wasn't about to give up just because her first two ideas wouldn't work. _I could just say I'm still hurt from the fight, or that I don't want to distract him from his training for the finals … but those are just a delaying tactic, and knowing Naruto he'd train himself half to death then say he's in fine condition for a date anyway. That idiot really needs to learn not to push himself so hard all the time. There's no point in just delaying the inevitable._

A new line of thought presented itself to Sakura's mind. _Hmm, Naruto's not exactly smart, so maybe I can figure out some way to trick him into dropping the date. _This idea had a certain appeal, especially since managing to trick Naruto would reaffirm that his earlier success at outsmarting her was a fluke. _Whatever I come up with, I'll have to do it fast; knowing my luck Naruto's running around telling people I finally agreed to go out on a date with him…_

* * *

"Hey Hinata, guess what?" Naruto barreled into the girl's hospital room while speaking just a little too loudly for someone inside a hospital.

_Naruto-kun's visiting me in the hospital. Maybe after my fight with Brother Neji he's finally noticed me; he did cheer for me during the fight. Plus, Kiba-kun and Shino-kun said he had a very nasty fight with Sakura-san when he drew her as an opponent, so maybe he's given up on her now. _"W-what is it Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked shakily, quietly hoping that her dreams were finally going to come true.

"Sakura-chan finally agreed to go out on a date with me!" Naruto practically shouted in glee.

"Oh," Hinata said softly, trying not to show how badly the news hurt her.

"Naruto." Kakashi called out from the hallway. "We really need to meet up with your temporary sensei for finals; are you going to stop and tell every single person we meet about your date with Sakura?"

"Nah, just everyone that I know." Naruto answered. "You are gonna tell Sasuke for me, right?"

"Sure, sure." Kakashi assured the genin. _If I don't tell him yes he'll just keep bothering me until I promise him anyway._

"Great, thanks Kakashi-sensei." Naruto paused for a moment of consideration, then asked, "Hey Kakashi-sensei, do you know what room that girl on Bushy-Brows's team is in? I wanna make sure Bushy Brows knows Sakura-chan's going out with me now."

"I'll see if I can find out." Kakashi responded with a tone of weary resignation. _If I don't help Naruto he'll just run randomly around the hospital by himself causing trouble, and everyone will probably blame me for it. At least by going along with him I can keep the damage to minimum._

The hyperactive genin and lazy jonin made their exit, leaving a broken-hearted Hinata behind.

* * *

Several hours later, one of the medic-nins released Sakura from the hospital after confirming that her injuries had healed properly and there did not appear to be any unexpected complications. She also happened to mention an interesting bit of news making the rounds of the hospital. "Yeah, the Uzumaki kid was practically telling everyone he met that you agreed to go on a date with him."

"Everyone?" Sakura asked in despair.

"Well, not literally everyone, but as you might have noticed he tends to shout a lot when he gets excited, and he was obviously very excited about the date." The woman gave an amused smile. "It was kind of cute, actually; he must really like you."

Sakura barely repressed the urge to groan in front of the medic, and dutifully ignored the obviously insane little voice in the back of her mind that agreed with the medic's assertion that Naruto's immature idiotic excitement was cute at times. Then a truly dreadful thought occurred to the girl. _If everyone at the hospital knows about my date with Naruto then somebody's probably told Sasuke-kun already! Oh no! He'll probably be so disappointed when he hears._

* * *

"Kakashi-sensei, how did Naruto and Sakura's fights go anyway?" Sasuke asked.

"It was interesting." Kakashi answered distractedly, his nose buried deep in Makeout Paradise. Sensing his student's less than amused glare, he decided to offer a slightly more detailed explanation. "They got each other as opponents. Naruto won, and somehow that led to the two of them dating."

"Hn." _Maybe now Sakura will stop bugging me and Naruto will stop trying to make everything into some sort of competition in an effort to impress Sakura._ Pondering the potential consequences of his teammates dating, Sasuke frowned and quietly muttered under his breath. "Don't screw up, Naruto."

* * *

Naruto wasn't sure what to make of the events of the last few hours; once Naruto had finished announcing his upcoming date with Sakura to almost everyone at the hospital Kakashi-sensei had pawned him off on the closet-perv Ebisu. After a bit of training the closet-perv had been beaten up by some guy called Jiraiya, who both was an obviously superior ninja and much, much bigger pervert than Ebisu (and unlike Ebisu, completely open about his pervy nature). The man Naruto quickly dubbed Pervy Sage had taken over Naruto's training, and after Naruto quickly mastered water-walking with Pervy Sage's help the two had called it a day.

With training done for the day, Naruto's mind turned once more to the matter of his upcoming date with Sakura. Shortly after his euphoria about getting a date faded Naruto had realized that he really didn't know too much about what exactly was involved in a date; pretty much all he knew was that you were supposed go eat at a nice restaurant, but he was pretty sure there was a lot more to it than that.

Unfortunately, Naruto had spent pretty much the entire day in the company of a pervert who read porn novels in public, a closet pervert, and a self-confessed super pervert, none of whom Naruto was about to considered approaching for advice on his romantic dilemma. Iruka-sensei had unfortunately been busy teaching a group of Academy students that included Konohamaru when Naruto went looking for him, and Naruto wasn't about to admit he had no idea what was involved in dating a girl in front of the boy who idolized him. In the end, Naruto decided he was on his own and he would just have to make the best of it; dating couldn't be that hard or complicated after all. He did remember hearing something about flowers being involved, so he decided to stop by the nearest flower shop first.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" The unexpectedly familiar voice of Ino asked from behind the counter.

"Eh? Oh, hi Ino." Naruto gave a rueful chuckle and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Forgot your family owns this flower shop."

_Why doesn't it surprise me that Naruto can walk right past the sign that says Yamanaka_ _Flowers and not realize it must mean my family owns the place._ "Figures." Ino responded with a slight smirk. "So, you didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"I need to get some flowers for Sakura-chan." Naruto answered happily.

"You WHAT?!" Ino asked, her voice rising several octaves as she immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Honestly Naruto, have a little bit of self respect. Billboard Brow was a total bitch, you shouldn't be getting her flowers just because you feel bad for beating her up; she deserved everything she got."

"Eh … well the thing is Ino…" Naruto began.

"You don't have to apologize to her, she should be the one apologizing to you!" Ino's rant continued right over Naruto's attempt to explain the situation to her. "And it better be a damn good apology too! In fact, forget her! There's no apology in the world that's good enough for that bitch! I don't know why you waste so much of your time on Billboard Brow anyway, especially when Hinata…"

"Sakura didn't mean any of it!" Naruto shouted her down. Ino frowned, and seemed entirely prepared to re-launch her rant against her rival when Naruto quickly explained. "She told me she didn't really mean any of those nasty things she said, she was just doing all that to keep from dropping out of the match, and then to make me actually fight her properly."

"Really?" Ino asked, sounding a little skeptical. _Makes sense, Yeah, Naruto gets on Sakura's nerves, but being that nasty about it was pretty weird for her._

"Yeah, she felt really bad about all the stuff she said." Naruto smiled and added the best news of all. "She even said she'd go out on a date with me, that's why I need the flowers."

"Oh." Ino muttered in surprise as she took a moment to consider Naruto's words. _Sounds like it's an apology date rather than the real thing. Still, if Sakura starts properly dating Naruto then she won't be chasing Sasuke-kun any more. _A broad smile made its way onto Ino's face. _Naruto, you just made a new best friend._ "So…where are you taking her for your date?"

"Um … somewhere nice?" Naruto offered hesitantly. He hadn't really had the time to figure out a good restaurant; he pretty much only ever ate at Ichiraku Ramen when he was eating out, and he'd planned to just let Sakura pick where they went for the date.

_Figures that Naruto would be a little clueless about dating. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to help him out a bit; it's a small price to pay for clearing out the competition._ "I know a couple good places, and Sakura probably still likes the same sort of food she used to back when we were friends." Ino suggested. "When is your date with her anyway?"

"We didn't really decide on a time, but, she should be out of the hospital by now so I was planning to go by her house and then I remembered that I should probably get her some flowers." Naruto answered.

"You were just planning to show up with no warning and without giving Sakura any time to get herself ready for the date?" Ino asked, less than pleased by the boy's lack of consideration. She then gave Naruto's damp and somewhat stinky jumpsuit a look of mild disdain, and then took in the boy's damp hair and generally disheveled appearance. "Did you just finish training? You're a mess."

"Yeah, I learned how to walk on water." Naruto answered with a proud smile.

_Well, at least that explains how he got so wet._ "Don't you have anything nicer to wear? You do want to look your best for your date, right?"

"Eh? These clothes are fine, and Sakura-chan already knows what I look like anyway." Naruto responded in obvious confusion.

_Alright, maybe Naruto needs more than a little help._

* * *

"Could you explain why you want to drag me into this?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino sighed, silently wishing that she could have recruited someone a little more energetic as her partner in this scheme. "I've been hammering as much dating etiquette as I can into Naruto's head, but there's only so much I can manage before he has to go out on his date with Sakura." _At least we're making some progress; at first I was afraid I'd have to take over his body and just do it myself if I didn't want the date to be a total disaster._ "Since we can't count on Naruto doing things right by himself, we need to do a couple other little things to help him along."

"But why do I have to be involved?" Shikamaru complained. "I can already tell this is going to be a massive pain in the ass."

"Because the plan I'm working on right now needs a second person, and you're my best option." Ino explained.

With a resigned sigh, Shikamaru reluctantly conceded. "I suppose I am a better choice than Choji for helping you manipulate a fellow Konoha shinobi as part of some convoluted romantic scheme to remove one of your rivals for Sasuke's attention, but really I don't think your plan's going to work."

Ino shot her teammate a predatory smile. "Trust me, I know how Billboard Brow's mind works; if you don't mess things up this will work."

"Why am I always getting dragged into your crazy schemes?" Shikamaru complained.

"Because, as troublesome as getting involved with my 'crazy schemes' is, you know I'll find all kinds of ways of creative ways to make your life a living hell if you don't help me." Ino answered with a deceptively sweet smile. "Asuma-sensei would just love a nice long list of all your favorite cloud-watching locations."

"What a drag." Shikamaru grumbled.

"You barely even have to do anything." Ino assured the lazy boy. "Just complain a lot and act like you don't want to be involved or even be having the conversation."

"That shouldn't be hard." Shikamaru deadpanned.

* * *

After a messenger bird flying over her head briefly distracted her, Sakura grimaced down at her half-eaten lunch, which she had been picking at for the last fifteen minutes. Naruto had surprised by showing up at her house last night and suggesting that they go to her favorite restaurant later that week; she had almost expected him to drag her down to his favorite ramen stand five seconds after she got out the hospital even though she'd specifically told him no ramen when being tricked into the date. _Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Even if it is, at least while he was running around telling people about our date he also explained what happened at the preliminaries, so now everyone won't think I'm a total bitch_.

As the shock of her sudden date with Naruto began to wear off, Sakura also had the time to consider the other big shock Naruto's visit at the hospital had produced; the fact that he had the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside of him. Her first instinct had been to do a little research on the matter, but any information on the Nine-Tailed Fox beyond accounts of the attack on Konoha had been scarce and she couldn't find anything that would tell her more about what would happen to Naruto as a result of having the Fox sealed in him. She'd tried to find Kakashi-sensei in the hopes of getting more information from him, but he and Sasuke-kun had both disappeared shortly before she'd gotten out the hospital.

Without any additional information to work with, Sakura just had to trust her instincts, which told her that she could trust Naruto. He might be an annoying hyperactive brat, but he was also a fundamentally good person and she had no reason to believe that the Fox posed any sort of threat.

_Naruto … you were so much less complicated before I got to know you_. It had been easy to dismiss the boy as unimportant when all she knew about him was his stupid pranks, her parents' vague warnings, and the fact that he was constantly asking her out on dates as loudly and publicly as possible. She still hadn't figured out what the deal with his constant chasing after a date was; until recently she'd been certain the date requests some sort of joke at her expense. For the year before they graduated Sakura had been convinced that Naruto spent his every waking moment finding new ways to torment her and cackling maliciously every time things went badly for her.

After they'd ended up on Team 7 and she'd actually been forced to interact with him on a regular basis Sakura's original conception of Naruto had fallen apart; once she'd spent a few days in the boy's company it became clear that he wasn't actually devoting his every waking moment to finding new ways to make her miserable. Unfortunately, Sakura still hadn't managed to come to a conclusion about what Naruto was now; it seemed like every time she started to get the boy figured out he came up with some new surprise that threw her into new round of confused pondering. Who would've thought someone who seemed like a simple-minded fool would end up being so complicated?

Any further contemplation of the confusing boy came to an end when Sakura heard a familiar voice raised in conversation on the other side of the park, and a quick glance confirmed that Ino was walking down one of the park's paths while chatting with Shikamaru. "I just don't buy it Shikamaru; she's obviously playing with Naruto." Ino declared. Realizing that she was the topic of Ino's conversation, Sakura quickly hid behind the nearest tree to listen in. "You were there, you heard what she said and you could tell she meant every word of it, and now she thinks that stupid excuse and a pity date will make everything better?"

"Why do I have to listen to this?" Shikamaru complained.

"I mean, everyone knows she can barely stand the guy; she can't go five minutes without trying to beat the crap out of him." Ino continued, heedless of her companion's indifference to her ongoing rant.

"You know, maybe if Sakura wasn't always hitting Naruto in the head and killing his braincells he'd be smarter." Shikamaru idly commented. "Let's just hope she stops while he still remembers more words than 'believe it' and 'I'm gonna be Hokage.'"

That got a laugh out of Ino. "Nice one Shikamaru." Once Ino's amusement faded, she went back to her favorite pastime of ranting about Sakura. "So what do you think she said that finally pushed him over the edge anyway? After all the insults he just took from without doing anything about it she must have said something really nasty to set him off like that…"

"Who cares?" Shikamaru groaned.

"You know, Naruto's not such a bad guy really; yeah, he's an annoying little moron, but he certainly never did anything to deserve everything Sakura said to him." Ino paused in thought for a moment, and then said. "I really need to come up with a new nickname for her; Billboard Brow was good when that was her worst feature, but now it feels just a little lacking. I suppose I could always just add bitch onto the end of it…"

"Choji is so much less of a drag than you are."

"You know, you can tell Naruto doesn't really buy Sakura's story." Ino declared. "Sure, he's smiling and acting like his usual self, but you can tell that deep down he's still hurting. And the worst part is that Sakura's going to get away with it all, and all it took her was a story nobody really believes and a fake pity date. He really deserves better, but I guess he feels like he doesn't have any other friends so he has to put up with her, no matter how bad she is."

"Are you even listening to anything I say?" Shikamaru complained.

"Not a bit." Ino replied cheerfully. By this point the two genin had moved well past Sakura's concealed position; Shikamaru's response was just a bit too soft for Sakura to understand, and she only caught one or two words of Ino's next remark.

Sakura slumpeddown to the ground against the tree, overwhelmed with doubt and guilt. _Naruto didn't believe me? He seemed alright, he even tricked me into going out on a date with him, and he wouldn't do that if I thought I'd actually meant all those things I said. Unless … what if Ino was right? He doesn't really have close friends because of the Nine-Tailed Fox … what if he's so alone he'll pretend to believe me just so he can have something like a friend? That's … that's just…_

She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, dropping her head down to rest against her legs. That way, nobody would see her tears.

* * *

"Thanks Shikamaru." Ino said once she was reasonably certain they were past the point where Sakura could hear them. _Sakura doesn't know I learned how to mind transfer into animals, so it was too easy to possess a bird and use it to figure exactly where she was and set her up to overhear our conversation._

"Just don't ask me to do anything like this again. Ever." Shikamaru grumbled. The genius was about to walk away with that, but paused and asked with a frown. "What was the point of all that anyway?" _Dealing with women when they get all crazy and romance-obsessed is such a drag, and I can never understand what's going through their heads._

"You'd think someone as smart as you could figure it out Shikamaru." Ino scoffed. "Naruto's almost certainly going to screw up at some point during his date with Sakura, it's practically a law of the universe. We have to make sure she won't just clobber him and walk away when that happens, and the best way to do that is to really guilt her over the prelims; if she feels bad for treating Naruto like crap she'll have to forgive him when he makes a mess of things."

"Right … sorry I asked." Shikamaru frowned, and then added. "Not that I care, but doesn't messing with her head like that seem really twisted to you?"

"Yeah." Ino admitted reluctantly. "But all's fair in love and war."

"Whatever." Shikamaru grumbled. "You're not going to want to me to do anything else, are you?" _Why do troublesome women always have to bother me?_

"No, I can handle the next step by myself." Ino assured him.

* * *

"Eh … I don't know about that Ino." Naruto responded after finishing off his fourth bowl of Ichiraku ramen, making Ino regret her suggestion of holding their impromptu date etiquette class at the ramen stand and really regret offering to pay for Naruto's food. "Sakura-chan usually doesn't like it when I try to say nice stuff about her, so I kinda quit doing it."

"Really?" Ino asked. "That's odd, usually she likes compliments; probably because she's not very self-confident." The girl paused in thought, and then asked. "Was Sasuke-kun around when you were complimenting her?"

"Yeah." Naruto grumbled, not pleased to be reminded of the boy Sakura had a massive crush on.

"Well, that probably explains it then." Ino answered. "She's probably worried that if she acts like she likes getting compliments from you it'll make Sasuke-kun think she's lost interest in him."

"I don't think he'd really care either way." Naruto offered. "And that still doesn't explain why she punches me so much."

"Well, you can get pretty annoying." Ino told him with a smile that took most of the bite out of her comment. "If I had to spend all day around you I'd probably start punching you too." _Still, Sakura's not usually that violent. I wonder what could be causing her to act like that…_

"Oh, oh, and the weirdest thing is, she just acts so strange sometimes." Naruto continued to babble. "Like, when there's fighting going on and things are getting really bad, then she's a lot nicer than usual." Naruto thought about it a bit more, and then chuckled. "And she got really worried when Kakashi-sensei was about to use the Thousand Years of Death on me; it looks a lot like a tiger seal and that's used for some nasty jutsus. She actually broke cover during Kakashi-sensei's test just to warn me. Oh, and that reminds me of this other time when…"

Ino was only half listening to Naruto's ongoing list of various times when Sakura was a bit nicer than normal to him. _Unusually violent when he tries to ask her out … but nice when he's in trouble, and she finally agreed to go out on a date with him. Maybe she actually does…_ "No way!" Ino exclaimed, shocked by her own conclusion.

"Yeah, she totally gave me tips and didn't tell Sasuke a thing!" Naruto agreed enthusiastically, naturally assuming that the girl's reaction had been in response to his story. Much to Ino's relief, any further discussion of Sakura's behavior came to a temporary halt when Naruto's next bowl of ramen arrived.

_Lucky … I was afraid I'd have to be constantly pushing these two together, but if she actually does like him, even if it's only a little bit, then this might actually work. But … how can she like Naruto and Sasuke at the same time?_

Ino was no genius like Shikamaru, nor even unusually bright like Sakura, but she was fairly intelligent in her own way. Moreover, she'd had to study the workings of the human mind as part of learning her clan's mental jutsus, and years of being Sakura's best friend gave her a great deal of insight into how the other girl's mind worked. It didn't hurt that she also might have a lot to gain from solving this particular puzzle.

_So, painfully shy kunoichi-in-training Sakura Haruno only has one real friend (me) who is better looking, more popular, and more skilled at the ninja arts. Naturally she felt like she was second best compared to me, but as she gained more confidence that changrd and she wanted to prove that she could be just as good as me. She went out of her way to compete with me in academics, kunoichi training, and maybe even … love. I had a crush on Sasuke-kun before she did, and what better way to prove that she's surpassed me than to win a romantic competition?_

_I like where this is going … so she never really liked Sasuke-kun, it was just another way to carry on her rivalry with me. She probably doesn't even know it; the human mind can play all kinds of tricks on itself. Meanwhile, she's far too desperate for the acceptance of her peers to go after an outcast like Naruto, so she hid her natural attraction to him, and now she massively overcompensates every time he's nice to her to try and cover it up, but her real feelings still slip out in extreme situations when she's really worried about him..._

_And if all that's true, then it means Sakura will be a lot happier once she realizes she likes Naruto instead of constantly denying it, and without Sasuke-kun as an issue maybe we can finally get our friendship put back together. I never really wanted to lose her as a friend in the first place, I just had to make a choice and picked love over friendship; now it looks like I can have both again! _Ino's victorious smile widened further as the next thought came to her. _And now I'm not an evil remorseless hag tearing apart Sakura's life just to win Sasuke, I'm actually doing her a massive favor by helping her straighten out her life and feelings!_

_Speaking of which…_ Ino smiled as she saw a familiar head of pink hair bob into view. It had been all too easy to lure Sakura into the area just by starting a rumor that the still-missing Sasuke had been seen nearby, and now it was time for the second phase of the pre-date preparations. A quick nudge and a finger in Sakura's direction was all it took to set Naruto off, and half a second later he was waving his arms wildly (even though the half-curtain at Ichiraku's meant Sakura wouldn't be able to see them) and shouting. "Hey! Hey! Sakura-chan! Over here!"

The pink-haired girl made her way towards the ramen stand, shaking her head and giving a slight chuckle. "Why am I not surprised you're at a ramen stand Naruto? Anyway, have you seen…" Sakura trailed off as she noticed that Naruto was not eating alone. "Ino-pig? What're you doing here?"

"I felt like eating ramen, Billboard Brow." Ino responded with a slight smirk. "And Naruto looked like he could use the company."

Sakura dimly wondered why she had a stronger urge than usual urge to start hitting Naruto and especially Ino. "You don't even like ramen … or Naruto."

"Don't try to tell me what I do and don't like, Billboard Brow!" Ino snapped.

Naruto remained silent shrunk down slightly in his seat while Sakura and Ino began one of the nastier arguments he'd seen them have. _Sakura-chan and Ino are getting really scary_… _maybe if I stay quiet they won't notice I'm here._

Naruto's hopes proved to be in vain as he suddenly felt a rather painful grip on his right arm and was nearly dragged off his seat by Sakura. "Well, for your information, Ino-PIG, Naruto's going out on a date with ME! So stay the hell away from him!" Sakura yanked on the poor boy's arm again, clearly planning to drag him bodily away from Ino.

"But … the ramen…" Naruto whined, looking plaintively at his unfinished bowl.

"Come on Naruto! We have a mission to go on, remember?" Sakura snapped, forcing the boy out of his seat and further away from his precious bowl of delicious ramen.

"But Sakura-chan, we don't have any missions this month because of…" Naruto's explanation came to an abrupt end when Sakura's foot slammed down on top of his. "OW! Sakura-chaaaan! What'd you do that for?" _Sakura-chan's face is scary; she looks like she's gonna kill me! Maybe I better just agree with whatever she wants!_ "Uh … I mean … oh right, that mission. Hehe … I forgot about it." Naruto lied unconvincingly as he reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged away from the unfinished ramen.

Ino smirked as she watched Sakura drag Naruto away from Ichiraku's in a jealous rage,; everything had gone exactly according to plan. _It's just too easy to get Billboard Brow riled up._ _Too bad I couldn't warn Naruto, but he probably would have messed things up if he'd actually been trying to act instead of just being himself._

Once they'd gotten a fair distance from Ichiraku's Sakura seemed to calm down a bit, and Naruto began to squirm against the death grip she was still maintaining on his arm. "Sakura-chan, you're hurting my arm and people are staring at us."

"Huh?" Sakura said, realizing that she was still dragging Naruto along with her. "Oh, right." The kunoichi said, releasing his arm. _I can't believe Ino-Pig is so petty she'd try to steal Naruto from me just because I'm going on one date with him!_

"S'okay." Naruto said, rubbing his sore arm and wondering how bad the no doubt rapidly forming bruise on his arm was and how much it was going to end up looking exactly like Sakura's hand. "What was all that about anyway? I was just talking with Ino 'cause she bought me ramen and then…"

"Naruto…" Sakura began. "Don't hang out with Ino, even if … no, especially if she offers to buy you ramen."

"But … free ramen." Naruto whined.

_Why am I not surprised Naruto had no idea what Ino-Pig was up to?_ "I mean it Naruto." Sakura growled, slamming a fist into the arm she hadn't spent the last five minutes crushing to emphasize her point.

"Sorry Sakura-chan." Naruto apologized, looking crestfallen and distressed. _How am I gonna figure out how to date Sakura-chan without Ino's help. I can barely keep all the stuff she told me straight! Wait … if Sakura-chan's this mad at me …_ "Um … Sakura-chan … does this mean you don't wanna go on our date any more?"

"What?" Sakura asked, taken off guard by the question, and feeling a little hurt for some reason she couldn't quite figure out. "Why? Do you want to date Ino-pig instead?" She asked bitterly. "Fine. Go ahead. I don't care. I hope you two have fun." Just as she was about to stalk off and find something appropriately squishable to start pounding (like Ino's head) Naruto grabbed her arm.

"I don't wanna date Ino, I just thought you were mad at me and so you wouldn't wanna ... you know … go on the date." Naruto babbled.

"Oh." Sakura said, turning back around to face him and seeming a little embarrassed by the way she had jumped to conclusions. "Um … right. That's not what's going on, I still want to do our date. It was just … Ino-pig is such a … such a … such a PIG!" _You're lucky you're too stupid to realize what Ino-pig was up to Naruto, or I would give you such a beating…_

* * *

"No."

"Come on Shikamaru." Ino pleaded. "After all the time I've spent getting Naruto ready and making sure Sakura's going to be as receptive as possible I have to be there to see the actual date, and that means I need your help again. You don't even have to do anything except keep an eye on…"

"I told you not to ask me to help you with your twisted mind games again." Shikamaru grumbled, making a valiant effort to just ignore the girl and go back to watching clouds. "So stop asking and just go away."

"You don't get it Shikamaru!" Ino declared. "Sakura actually likes Naruto."

"Huh." Shikamaru pondered this piece of information for a bit, and then shrugged. "What makes you think that?"

"Oh please, it's obvious from the way she acts." Ino snapped, glaring down at her lazy teammate. "It's the only possible explanation for her behavior."

"So … you're saying the reason she hits him is because she loves him so much?" Shikamaru deadpanned. "Right … that sounds like the foundation of a healthy relationship." _Then again, women do think in strange and troublesome ways._

Ino groaned, exasperated with Shikamaru's less than helpful attitude. "Will you just stop wasting my time and help me already? We both you're going to end up doing what I want in the end anyway; you always do."

"Not this time." Shikamaru said.

"Oh really?" Ino snapped.

"Yeah. I don't like what you're doing; it's weird and wrong." Shikamaru asked, abandoning his usual listless tone of disinterest. "I'm not helping you, and there's nothing you can say or do that will change my mind."

* * *

"Sasuke, we're doing something a bit different for training tonight." Kakashi informed his pupil. "You've been making good progress with taijutsu and learning how use lightning nature chakra, but tonight I think we need to work on stealth and infiltration."

"Hn. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I was thinking we could try observing a pair of trained ninjas for a few hours without them ever becoming aware of our presence." Kakashi offered.

"In other words, you want us to spy on Naruto and Sakura's date." Sasuke translated.

"Did I say that?" The jonin asked, his tone suspiciously innocent. "Of course, now that you've suggested it I suppose we could do that … Naruto and Sakura are ninjas so they would work for your training, but I didn't expect you to come up with such a perverse idea as spying on your teammates while they're on a date. Just so you know, if they get too intimate we're leaving, no matter how much you want to watch them. I just hope you don't end up being such a big pervert that you start peeking at girls in the baths or using your sharingan in inappropriate ways; I would like to think I'm a better influence than that."

Sasuke glared at his sensei.

"You don't have a well-developed sense of humor, do you?" Kakashi asked rhetorically.

* * *

Naruto and Sakura had agreed to meet up at the restaurant for their date; Sakura didn't wan to deal with the family drama that would inevitably accompany Naruto showing up at her house and telling her parents he was there to take her out on a date. At best her father would try to scare Naruto to death and her mother would make a huge fuss over the both of them, and the worst case scenario was too horrible to imagine; she knew her parents weren't exactly fond of the Nine-Tails' container, especially after he'd put her in the hospital in the prelims. Even though she had explained what happened at the preliminaries and told them that they shouldn't blame Naruto for her injuries they still seemed a bit wary of him.

When he'd first tricked her into the date and Sakura had realized she didn't have any way out of it, she'd briefly considered making it the most horrifically awful date Naruto Uzumaki would ever experience. However, doing that might have made staying friends impossible, and after that conversation she'd overheard between Ino and Shikamaru that option had gone out the window. Even if she didn't like Naruto that way and he'd only gotten this date through trickery he was a decent person, and after everything she'd put him through during the preliminaries that she couldn't hurt him more. She was determined to treat this date seriously and do everything she could to ensure that both of them had a good time. _And there's no way I'd give Ino-pig the satisfaction of having a disastrous date! If she thinks she can grab Naruto because I can't give him a good date I'll show her! CHA!_

Naruto had surprised her by actually coming up with a pretty good plan for the date; it was a far cry from the elaborate romantic fantasy she'd always envisioned Sasuke carrying out, but it was much better than she expected. They were eating at a fairly nice open air restaurant that Sakura had eaten at a few times before on special occasions (the last time she had gone there was to celebrate passing the genin exam), and the food was still as good as she remembered. Neither one of them had bothered to dress up, but Sakura did still make sure she was in her nicest casual outfit and her appearance was in perfect order, and Naruto had gone to the effort of cleaning himself up after a day of training. It was … comfortable.

Once they'd arrived at the restaurant and taken the time to look over their menus and decide what to get, they started chatting. "So, Naruto, what've you been doing to get ready for the finals?" Sakura asked, a little curious about how he was training.

"Pervy-Sage showed me how to do water walking, and now I'm learning how to summon toads." The boy answered. It's kinda hard, but I'm sure I'm getting better at it; the last tadpole actually had legs!"

"Do I even want to know who Pervy Sage is?"

"Eh … his actual name's Jiraiya, and he's some sort of toad sage from mount Mobokan or something; he had a really long introduction with lotsa big words so I don't remember it all."

"Jiraiya … toad sage … You're being trained by the Jiraiya of the Sannin?" Sakura asked in shock. "You should be more respectful Naruto! I can't believe you call one of the greatest living Konoha ninjas something like Pervy Sage!"

"But he is!" Naruto said in his own defense. "He's always peeking at women; sometimes I can barely get him to stop peeking long enough to actually train me!" Naruto frowned as he recalled one of the many pieces of advice Ino had pounded into his head, and decided to shift the topic of conversation away from himself. "So Sakura-chan, what've you been up to while I'm training?"

_Wondering where Sasuke-kun is. Worrying about whether or not you've really forgiven me for everything that happened at the preliminaries. Trying to research information on the Nine Tailed Fox that you've got sealed in you. Crying once or twice because I've realized you're so damn alone. Trying to train by myself because after the Forest of Death I've realized that you and Sasuke are stronger than me and I don't want to be left behind. Worrying about our date. Worrying that Ino-pig was going to steal you away from me before our date. And most of all, trying to figure out what the deal is with you because you confuse the hell out of me and I don't like it!_ "Oh, not much." Sakura answered. _You know … maybe getting tricked into going out on a date with Naruto wasn't such a bad thing after all. When he's trying he can really be quite charming._

"Aw man, I gotta go pee. I'll be back in a bit, Sakura-chan."

_Never mind._

Naruto quickly made his way to bathroom and finished his business, and was about to head back out to the table when an exasperated male voice said. "Naruto, did you remember to wash your hands?" Naruto turned to regard the speaker and saw an unfamiliar looking man in his mid-30's. Noting the boy's confusion, the man smirked, put a hand on his hip, and said, "I'm Ino."

"Huh?" Naruto exclaimed. "But, but Ino's like, twelve! And a girl!"

"You do remember what my best ninja skill is, right Naruto?" Ino asked, rolling her eyes. "It's not like I could watch your date in my real body; Billboard Brow would go nuts. You're not doing too bad so far, but next time say 'I need to go to the bathroom,' not, 'I gotta go pee.' It sounds more civilized." Ino declared primly.

"They both mean the same thing." Naruto countered, then frowned and amended. "Well, unless I've gotta … you know, take a shi-"

"Why do I even bother?" Ino groaned in despair. _Well, I must be making some progress; she probably would have just punched him and walked away for that if I hadn't been working on the rest of his dating skills. _"Anyway, I think Sakura could use a good compliment after that, so give her one when you go back out there."

"Alright." Naruto nodded. "Eh … anything I specific oughta compliment?"

Ino waved a hand dismissively. "Her hair, her clothes, her humongous forehead, it doesn't really matter what you compliment, just give her one."

"Alright, thanks Ino!" Naruto frowned, then asked. "Hey by the way, while you're doing your mind-switch thing who's keeping an eye on your body anyway?"

* * *

Shikamaru checked that his teammate was still unconscious but otherwise alright, then went back to watching the nighttime clouds. "What a drag."

* * *

_So … compliment … I can think of something. _Naruto made his way back to the table._ Hmm … what'd Ino say? Hair, clothes, forehead? I can't just say they look nice, that'd sound dumb, it's gotta be something really good! Aww … why does this have to be so complicated!_

"Hey Naruto." Sakura said, still a bit put out with her date over his crudeness.

_Uh oh … she doesn't sound happy. Gotta think gotta think gotta THINK!_ In desperation, Naruto made a virtue of simplicity. "Uh … you hair looks nice, Sakura-chan." _Idiot! That was so stupid, there's no way she'll…_

"Really?" Sakura asked, blushing slightly and raising a hand to her hair. "I wasn't quite sure about it after it got cut…"

"It looks great!" Naruto assured her, delighted that she actually seemed to like getting complimented by him.

"Thanks Naruto." She said, favoring the boy with a warm smile. "So," The girl said with a grin, "tell me more nice stuff about me."

The next couple minutes consisted of Naruto unleashing a barrage of compliments, and Sakura eagerly eating them up. _Wow, Ino was right … this is really working. Time to bring out my best material. _"Y'know Sakura-chan," Naruto said with a wide grin. "You have a wide and charming forehead." The boy gave a nervous chuckle, then added, "Makes me want to kiss it."

Sakura froze in shock when the words left his mouth, and after a few awkward seconds of silence she asked in shaky voice. "W … what did you just say?"

_Wait … that was the compliment I used that time I was disguised as Sasuke and trying to find out what she thought of me. Crap_. "Uh … um…" Naruto desperately tried to find some way out of the dilemma he'd placed himself in.

Sakura, in the meantime, was trying to figure out how Naruto could have perfectly repeated something Sasuke had said to her months ago. She remembered the incident quite well; not only had Sasuke complimented her, he'd complimented her forehead. After years of being teased over her forehead she'd grown to hate it, and even Ino's efforts to boost her self-confidence hadn't completely eliminated her insecurity. For someone, anyone, to actually say that her forehead was attractive … it was probably the best compliment she'd ever gotten in her life.

Then Sasuke had ruined the moment by laughing it off as something Naruto would say. Then he asked her what she thought about Naruto; thinking back on the matter the entire conversation had been pretty unusual. Sasuke just hadn't been acting like his normal self; the way he'd looked at her, the way he talked to her, everything about him had been so … atypical. Then right when she was about to kiss him he ran off, only to come back a minute later acting exactly like Sasuke always did and asking if she'd seen Naruto.

_Wait … Sasuke acting weird, and he wants to talk about what I think of Naruto … then Sasuke turns up again, acting normal and looking for Naruto._ A horrifying thought entered her mind. _No. No no no no no no no no NO! _"Naruto." Sakura hissed, her voice filled with tightly controlled rage.

"Crap." _I'm gonna die._

"Why?" Sakura demanded.

"Well … y'see Sakura-chan … um … the thing is…" Every time Naruto tried to explain the situation he found his ability to speak coherently disrupted by visions of his impending horrific death at Sakura's hands.

"Why?!" Sakura shouted, grabbing a handful of Naruto's shirt and dragging him halfway over the table so she could glare directly into his eyes. "Why would you do something like that to me? You think it's funny to play with a girl's feelings like that? You know, I started to think you might actually be a decent guy, but now … you … you …" Suddenly tears were spilling down Sakura's cheeks. "Why do you always do things like this to me? What did I do to deserve this treatment? Why do you have to take me out on a nice date, and just when things are really going well you decide to rub my nose in the fact that you got away with pulling a prank on me months ago!"

"It's not like that Sakura-chan!" Naruto cried out desperately.

"Then what is it?!" Sakura shrieked.

"I really like you!" Naruto confessed. "And I didn't know what you thought of me and the only way I could think of to find was to have Sasuke ask you and I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry and please don't kill me or hate me!"

"He … likes me?" Sakura muttered under her breath.

Naruto missed Sakura's words due to the stream of distressed babble coming out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I never should have asked you out on this date after that 'cause now you hate me and I'm sorry and I probably screwed everything up and I wouldn't have even done half the stuff I did right except that Ino kept giving me advice and…"

"Naruto likes me?" Sakura repeated, slightly louder but still far too quiet to be heard over Naruto's voice.

"And I'm sorry and I know you probably hate me 'cause I completely ruined everything and you're right about all the times you called me stupid and worthless and an idiot 'cause I am 'cause I messed this up and maybe if Ino'd had more time to help me I wouldn't've but I did and it's all my fault and…"

"SHUT UP NARUTO!" Sakura shouted the boy down, yanking on his shirt and pulling him even closer to emphasize her point. All conversation in the restaurant came to an abrupt end, and soon everyone there was staring at the couple. Returning to her normal volume, Sakura asked. "Could you repeat the first part of that?"

"Um …" Naruto began, trying not to speak slowly and clearly so that he wouldn't babble and enrage the kunoichi even further. "I said that I like you, but since I didn't know how you felt about me I turned into Sasuke to find out."

"Right." Sakura said, her expression unreadable. "Could you say those first three words again? I'm not sure I heard them right."

"I like you." Naruto hesitantly repeated.

"One more time." Sakura ordered.

"I like you!" Naruto declared confidently, having managed to dispel most of his nervousness through forced repetition.

"Oh." Sakura said dully. "Huh. That's what I thought you said" Sakura's mind was a jumble as she tried to process this new piece of information; it was just too massive and too unexpected for her to figure out how to respond to it. Sakura simply didn't know what to think.

So she didn't.

She didn't think about the fact that she had spent the last couple years convinced that she was in love with Sasuke. She didn't think about what Ino and all the other girls would think of her, and how she had to prove them wrong. She didn't think about what her parents or teachers would say. She didn't think about the Nine-Tailed Fox, or the preliminaries, or everything that had happened in the Forest of Death. She didn't think about anything.

She just acted.

The kiss was fumbling, hesitant, and awkward, but all of those facts paled in comparison to the fact that it was a kiss. Once the kiss ended the girl pulled back and the two genins hesitantly met each other's eyes, then immediately blushed brightly and looked away. Their embarrassment increased when they realized that the audience Sakura's shout had attracted offered an almost universal response of, "Awwww," and then fell to discussing how cute young love was.

Once Naruto regained the ability to speak coherently, he hesitantly asked. "Um … Sakura-chan … does that mean you like me too?"

"I wouldn't have kissed you otherwise, idiot." Sakura commented fondly.

"Oh." Naruto slowly began to grin triumphantly. "Awesome."

* * *

Ino returned to her own body, and at Shikamaru's questioning gaze offered him a proud grin. "I totally called it. Naruto and Sakura make a cute couple."

"Yeah, great." Shikamaru replied unenthusiastically. "At least you didn't end up screwing up their lives with all your interference."

"Love always triumphs in the end, Shikamaru." Ino declared with a fanatical gleam in her eye. "If this date hadn't worked out I would've just had to start fighting dirty."

_That's what scares me about this girl … after all the things she's done, she still says she hasn't even started to fight dirty._ "Whatever."

"You just have appreciation for a good romance." Ino criticized, making her way out of the alley beside the restaurant where Shikamaru had been guarding her body . "Well, I'm done being a drag for the night, so let's go home and … is that Sasuke-kun?"

Meanwhile, on the roof of the restaurant a jonin and his apprentice were discussing the aftermath of the date. "Alright, I think we've seen enough." Kakashi informed his other student. "Have to say, that's not quite how I expected things to go."

"Maybe now they'll bug me less." Sasuke idly commented.

"Probably." Kakashi agreed. "I suppose it depends on whether having your teammates constantly sucking each others' faces will bug you more than having them constantly try to compete with you or ask you out on dates did." With a chuckle, the jonin slid off the roof and smoothly landed in the street.

"Hn." Sasuke offered in response, following his sensei down to the ground. _If nothing else, I won't have to worry about having a fangirl trying hug me every five minutes. At last, after all the years of fangirls in the Academy, and then having to deal with Sakura on Team 7, I'm finally, finally, free of them!_

Then the Uchiha noticed a purple and blond blur approaching him at high speed while eagerly shrieking "Sasuke-kun!" As Ino Yamanaka initiated her 527th attempt to glomp him to death, Sasuke quietly despaired. _It's just not fair…_

* * *

**Endnote:** Sadly, there's definitely not going to be any more for this fic after this chapter; there's not really anywhere left to go with the story at this point; Naruto and Sakura have hooked up, and aside from that the story is essentially still very much within the realm of cannon. There's really just no room for further expanding the tale, and it works fine as it is; a reasonably compact story that covers the big divergence from cannon and its most important consequences. For what its worth, I enjoyed writing this so much that I'll almost certainly try writing out some of the other Naruto plot ideas that have been bouncing around my skull.


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